Still, the house is filled with you.

That long fur from your extravagant tail; the paw prints where you jumped and played and loved. They are everywhere. Everywhere.

It is so quiet here. So wrong.

I clean you away, fill garbage bags. Bleach the evidence of your last hours at home from the couch cushions. I try to choose my memories, but even these make me cry.

That you were with us once, and you were happy.

What a list they make; a thousand things. Perhaps that your tail curled and flapped outside our bedroom door at night, or the way you sat upright like a fat, content koala. Then maybe your energy, the joyful whirlwind of your running to the front door, jumping welcomes at us.

And of course there must be that fierce, that stupid love, which let no one near us, even family, even friends.

But that made me feel safe always, even at night alone.

Rest, my little boy.

Rest now.

*

Fel1x
April 2003 – January 2007

Comments

[kathykath]

Beautiful.
I will miss the way he let me play with him but never pat him.
Sorry pet, xx

['Nilla @ Vanilladreams]

Oh, Meg. I'm so, so, so sorry. I have tears in my eyes, reading all you recently went through with him at the vet. The poor little boy. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sure you've seen this before, but this is the poem I always see about our dear animals that have passed away:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[flygirl]

Oh Meg. The emotions in this post are my undoing. Is it crazy that I'm all weepy about a dog on the other side of the world that I didn't know?

Thinking of you.

[Kath]

Oh, Meg, I am so very sorry. That was such a beautiful tribute it made me cry.

[Brandy]

I am so sorry you had to let your sweet guy go. I do understand the pain of losing a pet though. I lost my sweet Annie on Oct 8, 2006 and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I hope you're able to think happy thoughts about your little guy and remember the great things about him. I'll be thinking about you.

[jenny]

This is just breaking my heart. He was your baby for so long and I'm so sorry he won't get to meet the new baby. I hope that in time, your memories of him bring you happiness.

[Meri-ann]

*sob* no words.... x

[projgen]

I'm with flygirl - I'm all teary-eyed over here in Canada. Probably because we can appreciate the pain of losing a beloved pet. They stop being a dog or cat or guinea pig, and become part of the family. I still haven't gotten over losing my cat, and it's been 5 years.

[Jenny]

It is so hard to put away all those little things that remind you of him. I am sure those memories are hard right now, but someday, they will make you smile.

[My Reality]

I was in the same spot just 4 short months ago. It is an awful place to be in. Don't do anything before you are ready. I still have nose prints on my back door that I can't bring myself to wipe away. Do allow yourself to grieve. Felix was your baby and I am so sorry he is gone.

[Zee]

Meg, I'm so sorry to hear about Felix. It's terrible, hard thing. I'll be thinking of you.

[Inglewood]

What a beautiful rememberance, moment, thought, good-bye. Thinking of you Meg.

[Lassie]

Meg, I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost 2 dogs last year and your post brought it all back. Your guy was lucky to have such a loving family. I truly believe he is somewhere wonderful looking down on you with love. Thinking of you, D.

[Lut C.]

I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye to your little furry friend.

[Lut C.]

I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye to your little furry friend.

[Sara]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Em]

Hey Meg. Beautiful post. Thanks for the comments you left on my blog as well.

[Alli]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dog. Hugs.

[Vee]

Sorry it has taken me a while to get here.... but I wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss, this is very sad.